it kinda struck me today. why am i not doing what i promised myself? there is definitely a huge inertia in me to start things going. i still dont feel the urgency because it is still the beginning of the nightmare. i guess i need to experience the same old shit again to shake me up.
yucks! i hate myself for allowing hipcups to motivate myself. i seem to have lost the old karen somewhere along the way. it is time to bring her back and yup, not to give up.
have not been feeling good about myself recently.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Friday, February 15, 2008
hope
we need hope to live on. we want to wake up to a sunny morning, with something to look forward to in the day. nobody likes to play in a dark and gloomy day. we just run away and hide under a shelter. however, sometimes it is just not within our control.
life can never be smooth sailing and if you do have one, let me tell you something. I AM JEALOUS! the degree of destruction varies individually. getting bad results can be a heart crashing moment for a results orientated individual but nothing to someone who has came to terms with it. it really depends on how well one handles the damage and the area of destruction can always be minimized.
escape could be one of the solutions. though it may not be the best solution for all, in a way or another, our body functions in that way unknowningly sometimes. i shant run anymore! does that sound familiar? i do convince myself to face the problem and seek a solution. whether the solution will work or not, it will be another story.
during these few months, i am glad i have found my shelter in him. always trying his best to help me whenever he can. so yup, thanks! =) i will wake up with a smile on my face everyday regardless the weather outside.
life can never be smooth sailing and if you do have one, let me tell you something. I AM JEALOUS! the degree of destruction varies individually. getting bad results can be a heart crashing moment for a results orientated individual but nothing to someone who has came to terms with it. it really depends on how well one handles the damage and the area of destruction can always be minimized.
escape could be one of the solutions. though it may not be the best solution for all, in a way or another, our body functions in that way unknowningly sometimes. i shant run anymore! does that sound familiar? i do convince myself to face the problem and seek a solution. whether the solution will work or not, it will be another story.
during these few months, i am glad i have found my shelter in him. always trying his best to help me whenever he can. so yup, thanks! =) i will wake up with a smile on my face everyday regardless the weather outside.
Sunday, February 03, 2008
21st party
i dont know what i had done to my friends to deserve such a treatment from them on my 21st party. did i do anything that is unforgivable? seriously, i am having a love hate relationship with all of them. i will remember all the faces and make sure they pay back the same amount of even worse on their bdays.
haha. obviously, I DO LOVE ALL MY FRIENDS DEEP DEEP! why would i ever hate them for planning a k bash for me? just a short introduction of what k bash means. literally, it means karen! be afraid, suffer here! all my friends, kns, nj and nus came out with all ways out to get me. their objective is to see me ie a horrible death at my party.
kns knows i hate veg the most and they had to get me a veg sandwich from nydc!!! omg!!! the sandwich was nice because luckily the veg were those limited veg that i eat. haha. but under pee's threatenings, i was forced to eat the salad that came along with the sandwich. i guess that will be my first and only chance eating salad. haha.
i guess my nj frens are STILL BITTER over the carnivore treat 2 years ago. their sweet revenge continued. =( as a form of respect, i had to finish all 21 shots of weird combinations drinks they made. in running order, apple cereal, bean sprout juice, century egg milkshake, hot chocolate, cream of mushroom, cheesecake, green apple juice, almond cream, 100% lemon and lime juice, chunky monkey, dabai tun nai tang, grass jelly juice, green tea, soya bean and sauce and red bean, bloody mary, mustard shoes, loveletter, smelly tofu, espresso dinosaur and soda water. dun be deceived by the names. the combinations are super frightening like kang kong juice, chicken feet, mayo. omg! why do i have friends like them? for the fun of everything, bring it on! luckily i am not suffering from any serious stomache now. =)
i was stupid enough to order a strawberry shortcake with lots of cream. i didnt realize that in the first place. seriously, i would rather get a nice cake than to avoid the cream. yup, so our dearest ex chairman ghim collected all the cream from all pru cake and smashed it on my face. omg!!! before that, my kns had already smashed my face. so can you please imagine the smell on my face? it totally stinks like rotten eggs. =(
seriously, i really appreciate everyone's help and contribution in making k bash a successful event. though i have never seen a bday person so pitiful before, i had fun and hope everyone did as well. i was happy to know that even for friends who cannot be with me at the party, their best wishes still reach me. =) liting, hope your hall production went fine and yes, we must go out and pamper ourselves one day okay? i need a break after my event. =) and fat!!! thanks for the sunflower. it never fails me to make me smile. i will wait patiently for your parcel to arrive. thanks babe!!
finally, must thank my parents for helping me to do all the backstage work for the party. without them, i guess the whole house will still be in a mess when all my guests left. thanks for loving this stubborn and childish me. and also, to dabai, thanks for enduring all the shit with me and my bad bad temper. sorry to make you worry sometimes. i will be a good girl!
so happy birthday to me! be and behave like an adult. hope everything will go well for me and everyone! =) cheers to 21!
haha. obviously, I DO LOVE ALL MY FRIENDS DEEP DEEP! why would i ever hate them for planning a k bash for me? just a short introduction of what k bash means. literally, it means karen! be afraid, suffer here! all my friends, kns, nj and nus came out with all ways out to get me. their objective is to see me ie a horrible death at my party.
kns knows i hate veg the most and they had to get me a veg sandwich from nydc!!! omg!!! the sandwich was nice because luckily the veg were those limited veg that i eat. haha. but under pee's threatenings, i was forced to eat the salad that came along with the sandwich. i guess that will be my first and only chance eating salad. haha.
i guess my nj frens are STILL BITTER over the carnivore treat 2 years ago. their sweet revenge continued. =( as a form of respect, i had to finish all 21 shots of weird combinations drinks they made. in running order, apple cereal, bean sprout juice, century egg milkshake, hot chocolate, cream of mushroom, cheesecake, green apple juice, almond cream, 100% lemon and lime juice, chunky monkey, dabai tun nai tang, grass jelly juice, green tea, soya bean and sauce and red bean, bloody mary, mustard shoes, loveletter, smelly tofu, espresso dinosaur and soda water. dun be deceived by the names. the combinations are super frightening like kang kong juice, chicken feet, mayo. omg! why do i have friends like them? for the fun of everything, bring it on! luckily i am not suffering from any serious stomache now. =)
i was stupid enough to order a strawberry shortcake with lots of cream. i didnt realize that in the first place. seriously, i would rather get a nice cake than to avoid the cream. yup, so our dearest ex chairman ghim collected all the cream from all pru cake and smashed it on my face. omg!!! before that, my kns had already smashed my face. so can you please imagine the smell on my face? it totally stinks like rotten eggs. =(
seriously, i really appreciate everyone's help and contribution in making k bash a successful event. though i have never seen a bday person so pitiful before, i had fun and hope everyone did as well. i was happy to know that even for friends who cannot be with me at the party, their best wishes still reach me. =) liting, hope your hall production went fine and yes, we must go out and pamper ourselves one day okay? i need a break after my event. =) and fat!!! thanks for the sunflower. it never fails me to make me smile. i will wait patiently for your parcel to arrive. thanks babe!!
finally, must thank my parents for helping me to do all the backstage work for the party. without them, i guess the whole house will still be in a mess when all my guests left. thanks for loving this stubborn and childish me. and also, to dabai, thanks for enduring all the shit with me and my bad bad temper. sorry to make you worry sometimes. i will be a good girl!
so happy birthday to me! be and behave like an adult. hope everything will go well for me and everyone! =) cheers to 21!
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